cut maketh Successful Man™

2019.08.12Haircuts

cut maketh Successful Man™

You wonder with increasing obessesion why you have not made it big yet. Everyday, as you trudge to work, squeezing yourself alongside like-minded others on their way to their respective cubicles in their respective place of employment, you think about how it must be like to be rich and worryless – being able to order people around, being able to live peacefully without worrying about budgetting from paycheck to paycheck to make ends meet etc. You wonder, do others feel the same way as me?

You tend to observe others while on your commute, and it was as if capitalism was a virus that was impossible to not catch – the eyebags that some of the ladies like to joke as ‘my Gucci bags’ – in your opinion, a really lame way of bragging about their utter lack of money to purchase such luxury that their materialistic hearts yearn for, the dark eye circles that you doubt you would ever get rid of, the fish eyes not unlike the ones you see at the seafood section in the supermarket (dead and nothing more), and the hunched shoulders from years of toil staring at a 14″ screen typing hundreds of thousands of letters that have turned into a physical trait than a bad habit.

Male and female alike, regardless of race or ethnicity, everyone looked the same. The capitalised zombies, you remark with a bitter chuckle.

You alight from the subway, shuffling in between like-minded workers dressed in appropriate formal ‘office’ wear queueing up at the gantry to exit the station. Having done so, you make your way to the office as the sky up above you rumbles. A rainy day huh, you muttered. Already, you can foresee the scene in the office you work in – the raindrops racing each other in streaks across the glass that holds you captive, the occasional rumble of thunder and lightning streaks, and the gloomy atmosphere in the office as your colleagues ooze their discontent in aura waves. If you could see aura, would the aura of the office be depressingly black?

You scan your thumbprint for attendance, and the machine beeps green, indicating your loyalty for another day yet again. Legalised modern day slavery, you comment to yourself. Walking to your cubicle, you say a few greetings and put on fake smiles for people you don’t care about. You put your bag on your usual spot on the table between stacks of papers that never seem to end and grab your mug to get some coffee. After some unnecessary small talk and interaction with your colleagues, you return to your cubicle with your steaming hot coffee, black with two sugars – the reward of your trip to the pantry. Would it be a reward even? The black liquid you scorch your tongue with occasionally, was just a cheap instant mix that nobody would pick up in the supermarket – so cheap that sometimes you wonder if coffee becomes extinct, “would this brand be the best seller?” level of lack of authenticity.

Shaking that dumb thought away, you log into your computer and wait impatiently as the ancient thing boots up to life and tries its best to get you to the desktop at the fastest speed possible – which could be, if we are talking about a decade ago. Leaning back on your chair, you sip your coffee and nearly spit it out, having scorched your tongue again. Yet again.

Finally, after minutes of efficiency wasted, the laggard old thing lets you on the system and you open the mail application, with mild annoyance at the amount of time it takes to load due to the absurd amount of email that you have been copied in – for no reason whatsoever most of the time. You know very well that it takes time to load but still, it fills you with irk everyday when doing so. As per routine, while you wait for the mail to come in, you open the browser and load the news page that your company has set as the home page.

We want our employees to be in the know on the current global affairs, you mimic the CEO at the speech when they first announced this program rollout, to be global employees that can adapt to any change in the environment, regardless where they are. Frankly speaking, it was a load of bullcrap. What change? The only change you want to adapt to is the number of zeroes added behind your current pay.

The news page loads and you cannot help but snort at the faces that load.

“Boris Johnson appointed UK’s new prime minister”

The joker has become the PM instead, huh.

As if it was planned, beside Johnson’s face that was contoured into something that resembled a smile, in another box was his American counterpart, Trump, with his usual squinty eyed smile that looked uncanny to his mouth. Another clown – even so, you cannot help but feel envy at such clowns for being successful, if that is what you would call someone with power and money. You stared at their faces again, unconsciously comparing yourself versus them; and also subconsciously doing Find The Differences between Trump and Johnson. Or maybe, the similiarities.

ãboris johnsonãã®ç»åæ¤ç´¢çµæ

They have similar hair.

Is that the key to success?

Comparing to other successful figures like Jeff Bezos or Jack Ma, they definitely don’t have much in common. Rather, between Trump and Johnson, the similarity does not stop just at their hair – they also share the same ability to smoke through any situation and somehow pass it unscathed. Sure, news outlets and netizens call them out for it, but thier loyal followers hang onto their every word like it was from a religious text.

Definitely, you are no Steve Jobs; you are but a mere commoner with average IQ – you can never hope to have an lightbulb worthy kind of idea like theirs for sure. But Trump or even Johnson? That seems like an achievable goal.

“Hello?” A passive aggressive voice coupled with fingers snapping in front of your eyes snaps you back to your unpleasant reality. You look up to see your supervisor, a woman tall and lanky like a prebuscent teenage male, staring at you with her beady eyes behind a white rectangular frame with thick lenses. You offer a polite stretch of facial muscles what the dictionary would define as a smile, to which she does not acknowledge.

“I was asking you when you are able to send me the consolidated spreadsheet,” she narrows her eyes and speaks in a degratory tone, “but it seems like you are very occupied at the moment. Do I have to come back another time?” She folds her arms and casts this disapproving look at you, her usual attitude towards anyone beneath her current position in the company. On the flipside, she becomes sickeningly sweet when she speaks to her in-charge and to the department head, simpering so much that you actually feel slightly better knowing that you will never have to deal with that side of her.

“I sent it to you two days ago.” You reply in a clipped tone, staring back into those eyes, challenging her to accuse you of not doing so. Her face remained straight, staring at you but her skin tone betrayed her, turning into this sour tinge of red, a really weird color that you have to see it with your own eyes to believe that particular shade exists. Continuing with her facade with blatant lack of regard for her changing facial color, she replies frostily, “Is that so? Send it to me again now.” That heavy emphasis on the timing made you want to roll your eyes, but you resisted, for the greater good of turning her away to harass another unlucky soul that you cannot symphatise for.

A crack of thunder rumbles in the background as a second passes, with neither of you both flinching.

“I will.” At your reply, seeming content at having asserted her authority for another day, she casts you another second of disapproval before she slinks away to somewhere else in the office. To such a troublesome person like her, it would be easier to give her what she wants than to argue against her, a lost cause. Many creative words come into your head but you ignore them, slowly starting to feel the familiar sense of being drained from energy at the very first work related interaction of the day, alas a Monday. You cannot help but wonder which devil spawned her.

‘Maybe her dad is Slenderman’, a snarky thought floats into your head, ‘with the striking height similarity, it would be a believable statement.’ Dismissing the random attack of your sarcasm once again, you shake your head and sigh heavily as you look back at your computer screen – the smiling faces of the 2 people who are running countries of significant influence. Maybe, I can be them too, starting from their hair, you thought. You made a mental note in your head to make an appointment to head down to the hair salon for your first step towards success – albeit a small but significant step. But first, you sigh yet again, work.

thanks for reading, this is your daily dose of sewage that escaped from newater

yes it went downhill halfway bc my two brain cells have died on me

▼Click here for page link
Hairsalon Art-Noise in Singapore HOMEPAGE
Hairsalon PRICE
Hairsalon STAFF
Hairsalon HAIR COLOUR
Hairsalon PROMOTION

Hair Salon Art-Noise Singapore information